Tuesday, July 15, 2008

letting go

as a child i can remember playing with my favorite cabbage patch doll, missy, and my younger sister, krystine, coming over wanting to play with her. now, there is a 5 year age difference between my sister and myself and quite frankly, i was a brat and i saw no reason to share my most favorite and prized doll, missy, with my grungy hands, obnoxiously irritating younger sister. so i told her no and what did she do but reach up and grab missy by the hair. now for any of you who know me, you know that i don't take well to that type of attitude (perhaps this experience is why) so i started yelling, "krystine dianne let go. Let Go! LET GO OF MISSY!!!" at which point my mother came in and got onto me for a) not sharing b) yelling at my sister c) who knows.

as i recount that story it reminds me of my relationship with God. i see something i want, oblivious to whether or not it is something He wants me to have and then i latch on like a blood-sucking leech. many times i hear the quiet whisper of His voice telling me to let go, but i grab on tighter. before long this dance that i do with God becomes me yanking and pulling like a selfish brat to something that i think i want but haven't considered God's plan. Occassionally God will raise His voice to me and yell at me to LET GO, but for the most part He paitiently waits for me to chill out and lose energy so He can look me in the eyes and tell me that His plan and way is so much better than my plans and dreams.

i have been reading the shack right now and i am astounded by what i am learning from this book. it is a fiction book but it has made some very real and valid arguments about God's plans versus what we want for ourselves. it has also really touched my heart in a way that few books have. one of the biggest things i am realizing is that while i look at situations in my life as evil or bad, God looks at these things as opportunities to redeem. i hesistate to go into much more detail because i would love for all of you to read this book and share your thoughts and insight.

so i guess it's time for me to let go of things i keep trying to make happen. it's time for me to say to my precious Lord and Saviour that i am ready to let go of the plans i have for me and of my dreams. i'm losing control of my destiny and i'm letting go.

be blessed.


Going Weston said...

Hey i'm excited you're reading the Shack. I really liked it. I actually blogged a little bit about it. If you go to my past blogs they should something about The Shack in the title...I think they'd be easy to find.

But I'm excited to hear your thoughts once you finish it.

Going Weston said...

Yeah that would be great! I'm real busy this week but I need to call soon.

I think I got so into because of the timing as well. I was having some "heart" problems concerning God at the time a friend bought the book for me. I think what the other has to say about God's love and how we should love just helped me at my current spot.

And I fail to see The Shack being our generation's Pilgrim's Progress. I mean, they are easily comparable...but thats about it, ha.

Anyways, I hope it goes well. tty soon.