holidays shmolidays

my christmas tree is up and decorated... and i still have fall decor in my dining room and on my front porch. feelin a little red. the rest of the christmas decorations are coming up in the next few days before we head to myrtle beach for thanksgiving with the lawson clan.

the beach. at thanksgiving. this will be a totally new experience for me. the girl who grew up in the plains of texas and had never vacationed "at the beach" until last year. it's not the first year to spend thanksgiving away from my family and in a matter of speaking i suppose i am not spending the holiday away from my family... just the ramsey side.

this will be the first year i am away from my parents and sister for christmas. chris graciously chose to do his first non-lawson christmas last year and now it's my turn. but not only will we not be with ramsey family, we won't be with lawson family either. it's our first christmas completely and totally by ourselves.

we thought we would try to come up with a tradition that is just ours and maybe that will make the day brighter. not to be a pessimist but part of the whole joy of christmas is spending it with my family. the family that i grew up with. the one that i would wake up at 530am on christmas morning to open presents. the one that reads the christmas story before any presents are open so we don't forget the true meaning of christmas. the one where my dad shares words of affirmation to each of us so we know how much we mean to him. the one where my mom makes a brunch and then we have a huge dinner around 4. that family. the one in texas. the one that is no longer my immediate family.

"and then man and woman shall become one flesh [and become one family]". i still will be with my family this christmas. a new family. one that is smaller. the family of chris and myself. the family that has lost a child. but it's our family. our small family of two (plus mollie, the dog). the lawson family.

i guess christmas will be strangely andwonderfully different this year.